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Originally scribbled in my moleskine diary on 23rd May 2012 23:32
So it’s been a while since I last wrote some sort of diary. Hey I gave the old blog a good run mixed with music, but the problem is the ability to edit and procrastinate resulting in nothing getting past your filter. At least this way once the ink hits the paper there is no going back.
Yesterday I decided to go public about my Dad’s illness. I think internalising it for the past year has done me more harm than good. I’ve always been one to bottle things up as I don’t want to effect others and just want to get on with life. There just isn’t enough time. In the process I’ve probably nulled my emotions in fear of talking about MND causing a tear and I just wish to remain strong.
I had to speak out yesterday after the serious incompetence within the NHS. My main concern is my Dad getting the correct treatment and that future sufferers don’t have to go through the same pain and anguish. Especially when time is so short, I only hope things will get better and there will be some policy/procedure to avoid this.
The past couple of weeks have been, well how can I put it, turbulent roller coaster cliche-fest. I’d like to reverse a few things, mainly because they just weren’t me or my mind was in some other place. Anyhow it happened and hopefully didn’t put a halt to a friendship. Suppose I shouldn’t believe everything that’s said to me, anyway the moment has passed and I can look back with some fondness. I hope she feels the same way.
If anything it gave me a confidence boost at a time I particularly needed one.
Drinks at #notamassivetool last week gave me some unforgettable quotes. Mostly directed at me, resulting in the return of my alter ego from the old days of ‘The Fly’. On a side note I am in no way willing to be stamped as ‘The Ignition Man’. Nevertheless the words from a couple of delightful people meant I could believe again. Hey I’m cute :p
It’s hit midnight and I have managerial duties, ooh get me slipping that one in. Been an odd year, but making the best of it. The main thing that’s changed for me is life is too short, I just want to live life to the full now. Enjoy those quirky moments and just remember that the secret is yourself.